The Complicated Emotions of Being Trans, as Described by Bad Sun’s “Salt”
For many people, identifying as trans, coming out as trans, and transitioning comes with a lot of hurt and confusion, and is traumatic. In addition to years of transphobia embedded in American culture, often family and friends on the sidelines watching it happen aren’t supportive and make the process more difficult than it already is. To capture the complicated emotions that accompany coming out and transitioning, as well as to portray what it’s like to not have support during this time, the band Bad Suns released a song back in 2014 called “Salt.”
The song starts by detailing an individual who realizes that they are “stuck inside of the wrong frame.” When they decide that they want to transition to be who they really are, they feel that they need to ask others to “try to just hear me out.” They feel confused, asking if “it’s alright, right? That’s what I tell myself, but I don’t know.” The song continues by detailing the feeling of inner conflict in the chorus: “So I ran ‘til I couldn’t, and I screamed, ‘til my voice was gone.” I myself am not trans, but I sympathize with those who are because I cannot imagine not feeling like myself in my own body. In my opinion, the act of identifying alone that their internal experience with their gender identity is different than that of their physical body is brave and admirable. I wish that expressing this discovery to those around them was easier.
The song continues by describing the confusion that a trans individual may feel: “How do I grasp reality, when I don’t have an identity? Who, who can I look to ‘cause I’m not like you, you.” Not only is the process of coming out as trans scary, but it is also confusing. When you’re taught that there are only two genders, and that you are born as one of the two and that what you are assigned at birth is permanent, it is inevitable that this process be confusing. The song describes the confusion that comes from these incorrect teachings: “And I don’t believe in the truth, truth because all of my life’s built on lies.”
To capture the trauma of the whole experience, the song ends with “I’m trying to get my feet off the ground. These memories are nothing to me, just salt in the wound.” To fully portray the hurt, confusion, and trauma that trans individuals experience, the song is called “Salt,” after the painful feeling that comes when salt enters a wound.
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